


These Are The Monsters Of Yesterday

by salmonpanties



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Keith (Voltron), post-season2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2018-09-25 03:59:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9801692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salmonpanties/pseuds/salmonpanties
Summary: It was a few weeks after Shiro had gone missing that Lance went to sleep without his earplugs and woke in the middle of night to the sound of sobbing.





	1. tears and pity

It was a few weeks after Shiro had gone missing that Lance went to sleep without his earplugs and woke in the middle of night to the sound of sobbing.

Coming from a big family, with several younger siblings and cousins, the sound was no stranger to the Cuban boy; it had him sitting up in his bed almost immediately, ready to run to whoever it was that needed his brotherly support. But he had to double take as he noticed his surroundings, remembering that he was in fact not on earth, but on an Altean space ship, which he had been for about a year. Space-time was different that earth time, but if he had been home he would short of have celebrated his 18th birthday.

As he strengthened his hearing, he could confirm to whom the muffled crying belonged. It was Keith crying in the room next to his, letting out silent whelps, as if trying his best to not let it sound, but failing. Lance put his hand on his face, suddenly feeling awkward. It was weird, hearing the shorter boy making those heart-wrenching sounds, as if Lance was intruding on a moment of weakness he had no right to partake in.

Keith had played his role after Shiro’s disappearance, kept strong as the leader Shiro apparently had wanted him to be, even as the rest of the team had gone completely devastated. Somehow, in all of Keith’s determination to not let the team completely fall apart, Lance had forgotten who Shiro actually was to Keith. To all of them, Keith must have been the one who took the leader’s disappearance the hardest; Lance could understand the pain of missing his family. Only that Keith didn’t know if his family was safe or not, could not know where he was, lost or maybe even dead somewhere in space.

The thought of Shiro being hurt and the pity for the other boy became too much, and Lance grabbed for his earplugs on the bedside table next to him. There they were, and Lance could finally block out the sound of the Korean boy's cries in the room next to his.

-

The next morning at breakfast he kept an eye on the raven-haired boy, but he wore no traces of staying up the night before. Lance, on the other hand, hadn't gotten much rest after being awoken, even after finding his earplugs. Not even his toning face cream had worked to cover up the dark circles under his eyes. He’d be lying if he said that the lack of sleep and the fact that Keith seemed no more tired than usual wasn’t causing him to glare daggers at the dark-haired boy.

Keith noticed his glares, and scowled at him from where he was sitting across the table.

“What. You got anything to say?”

This stopped the small talk around the table, and the rest of the paladins and Alteans looked at them both. Normally, Lance would love to bicker back at the shorter boy, but today he had no strive to do so. Instead he shook his head and muttered a quiet _whatever_ as he dove into his food go again. Keith made a deeper grimace, but let it go.

“Well, when everyone’s feeling finished, let’s meet up in the training room”.

He got up from his seat, clearly demonstrating that it better be soon. He looked over at Allura, who nodded from her seat at the end of the table.

“Me and Keith has talked over some new combinations we should try to strengthen the group-dynamic now that, well, the team is different.”

Keith wore a somewhat pained expression, but he quickly made it neutral and nodded.

“Well, then”.

He nodded once more, before he walked out of the dining hall, leaving the rest of the team sitting in an even tenser silence than earlier.

-

He hadn’t really had his finest moment during the group exercise. He had been off, unable to prick his usual amount of targets or support his team members as well as he should had. Clearly, the new training combination had totally flopped, mostly thanks to Lance who couldn’t help but be distracted by the memory of Keith’s crying whenever he saw the other boy. At one point he had even bumped into Pidge, causing the younger to fall to the ground (which they had very much not enjoyed, still glaring daggers even hours later). At last Allura had called the program off, since their dynamic just wasn’t working at all that day. She made it sound as though they all had part in that, but they all knew that it had been Lance who was off. And to no one’s surprise Allura had brought him to the side and totally chewed him off after they had been dismissed. But where Allura had seemed matter-of-factly in her scolding, Keith was a 100% angry with him for not focusing enough during training.

The three Garrison-kids were sitting in the parlour, Lance dozing off on the sofa and Pidge and Hunk at the floor, working on some detective system to find Shiro. That was when Keith made an appearance, obviously coming straight from the training room.

Hunk paused in the air with his space-calculator as Keith stormed in, causing Pidge to avert their focus as well. Lance was lost in his thoughts, and didn't notice the very angry Keith until he was right before him. Pearls of sweat flung from his ponytail as he made a prompt stop in front of the Cuban boy.

Before Lance could utter a word, Keith had grabbed him by his collar and brought him up to his feet. Keith spoke in a scarily monotone voice as he scowled at him,

“No. You’re coming with me”.

Lance threw a desperate glance at Hunk, his big best friend, but the latter only shrugged in an apologetic way, as the Cuban boy was dragged away by a very angry Keith.

As they reached the hallway between the parlour and their bedrooms, well out of ear shot for his two friends to hear if he was bloodily murdered by the shorter Asian right here and now, Keith stopped. Lance didn’t have much time to catch his breath, before the shorter boy pressed him again the wall, once again with a hard grip on his collar. The boy may be shorter, but he sure as hell wasn’t weak. He smelled of sweat and something that reminded Lance of sea salt. It had been a while since he had been so up close to Keith, but Lance could tell his pale skin still looked flawless. How could that be?

But Lance was stopped in his half scared/half impressed thoughts, as Keith started growling at him in a low, but aggressive way.

“What the hell was that out there?”

First then Lance realised what situation he was in, and at once got annoyed. He tried to grab at Keith’s hands, to get him off, but Keith held his collar in an iron grip.

He made a sour face at the shorter boy.

“Hey, let go off me!”

Keith’s scowl only deepened.

“No, not until you explain what the hell made you fuck up training in such a way. We need a 100% focus if we’ll make this team work, everyone is doing their best to keep up with Shiro missing, we can’t have you slacking off and ruining our hard work”.

Now Lance got angry for real. He felt his face growing red with annoyance, and spluttered out.

“Excuse me… well, it was your fault anyway!”

Keith narrowed his eyes, pushing Lance harder into the wall.

“Oh, it was _my_ fault you had your panties in a twist and couldn’t concentrate?”

Lance almost shrieked.

“Yeah, damn right it was, I got no sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and therefore I couldn’t concentrate at all during training!”

A pause.

Keith just stared up at him, seemingly taken aback. It was a change from the fire in his eyes just seconds earlier, now the heat seemed to have moved from his gaze to his cheeks.

“You… couldn’t focus because you… thought of me?”

Lance growled.

“Damn right!”

Keith furrowed his brows at this, but he still kept his hands on Lance’s collar. Lance cleared his throat.

“Well, if you’re done chewing me out, then I actually have things to do!”

Keith let go off his collar, looking at his own hands as though he had forgotten he had them by Lance’s throat in the first place. Lance took a deep breath, theatrically straightening his shirt after the shorter boy’s grip. With a scowl Lance then turned and walked towards his room.

He felt angry for even caring in the first place, and decided he was going to take a nap. He left Keith standing awkwardly behind him, looking all red and confused.

-

Lance woke up a couple hours later to a knock on his door. He also realised he had missed dinner as soon as he opened his eyes, but outside the door was Hunk, his best bud’, apple of his life, with a basket full off something that looked like bread; though suspiciously green, somewhat spikey. But Hunk smiled at him, and Lance smiled back, deeply moved, and gestured for the Samoan boy to come inside.

As Hunk went to sit on the bed, Lance went into the washroom to wash the sleep off his face. He inspected his face in the mirror, after his long nap the dark circles looked better. He reached into the cupboard for his facemask, as he listened to Hunk chatting in his bedroom.

“Noticed you didn’t show up for dinner, so I thought I’d check up on you. Also, I just baked some bread I thought you could try out – new recipe”.

Lance made a humming sound, as he finished applying his mask and walked out to Hunk to sit on his bed. Hunk lifted the basket off the bedside table, putting it between them on the bed. The bread looked weird, but smelled like they did back on Earth. Lance took one with a thankful smile, as Hunk just looked suspiciously on his mask.

“Wow, that… that cream is yellow”.

Lance smirked at the bigger boy, feeling the mask cracking when he changed expression. He took a bite off the bread before replying.

“Yeah, I came across it on the last planet we visited. It smells like sunflowers and it’s bright yellow, made me think off you”.

Hunk lifted an eyebrow.

“So, you… bought it for yourself?”

Lance’s grin grew even wider.

“Yeah, I’m thoughtful like that”

He finished the bread, and grabbed for another.

“’Tis really good, you know, tastes like home”.

Hunk smiled at this, before turning a bit more serious.

“Yeah, actually, it was something I was meaning to talk to you about…”

Lance hummed in a response.

“Actually, it’s about Keith…”

The mention of the Asian boy made Lance choke on the piece of bread. Hunk worriedly turned to him, quickly started banging on his back. When Lance had calmed down and could breathe again, the bigger boy took the basket and Lance’s piece of bread and put them on the table. Lance could feel his back ache a bit, from the helpful but awfully strong boy’s pounding on his back. He got up from the bed, to wash away his mask, but also get a moment to catch his breath. He felt his insides burn weirdly from just the thought of the other boy…

As he was in front of the mirror again, Lance peeled away the yellow mask and washed the excess of his face. He once again studied his face, and had to smile at how healthy it looked. The dark circles were now almost non-existent.

When he got back to the bed, caressing his skin, Hunk playfully teased him because of his so-called _obsession_ with skin care. Lance just scoffed.

“Well, this beauty doesn’t come for free, you know”.

Hunk laughed and smiled fondly at him, before continuing where he had left off before.

“Okay, as I was saying, about Keith… err, what happened after he had run off with you earlier?”

Lance furrowed his brows, feeling that annoyance again.

“Well, that mullet-head is a mess. He was totally chewing me off, as if I am the only one who’s not trying my best, or concerned about Shiro, which is, like, totally not true!”

Hunk tapped his back, gently. Lance made a pout.

“There, there. I suppose I was a bit worried, since you didn’t come down for dinner and Keith… well, he was a bit weird”

Lance raised his eyebrow.

“Weird, how? Sir edgelord is always weird”.

Hunk sighed at this.

“Yeah, I know you think so”.

He got up from the bed, pausing at the sight of his shorter friend on the bed. With another fond smile, he patted the Cuban boy’s head.

“So you’re ok? Well then, I’m going to get back to my room. We’re going to another planet tomorrow, nothing dramatic, just going to check it out, so you better get some sleep”.

Lance smiled, as always quite quick changing in his moods. As his friend walked to the door, he yawned, suddenly feeling sleepy again even though he had slept just earlier. He nodded.

“Yeah, thanks for informing me and for the, err, bread. See you tomorrow, bud”.

Hunk left, and Lance was left with his thoughts again. Keith was acting weirdly during dinner, huh? Lance smirked to himself, somewhat pleased with the information. He supposed he really did tell him off… With another yawn, Lance got up to the washroom again, to brush his teeth.

-

Lance didn’t forget his earplugs this time, and slept good.


	2. my heart's a tart

The next morning Lance woke up a while before Allura’s wake up-call. After a full night’s sleep he felt awfully chirper, not at all like he had the day before. He was standing in front of the mirror, choosing between regular face cream and bb cream, as Allura’s voice was calling out in the speakers, letting them know they could come down for breakfast before the mission.

Lance looked at his reflection again, noticing how bright his skin looked this particular day, and decided to go for the simple face cream. Wearing one of his white t-shirts and a pair of tight blue jeans, he felt confident in his mission to catch at least a million of hearts on this new planet. He blew kisses at himself in the mirror, before leaving his room to get something to eat. He picked up the breadbasket from the bedside table, in case it was that yellow goo this day as well. Anyhow, it was simply a good day, he could already tell.

-

Lance had been wrong. It was not a good day.

He was walking out of the Altean spaceship, setting his feet on this foreign planet where the wind felt like a summer breeze, the climate somewhat reminding him of the Cuban summers back home; leading his mind back to his childhood there, playing around with his siblings in the big garden of his grandparents, he could almost hear the voice of his abuela in his mind, calling them back in her raspy voice, serving lemonade… nothing could be wrong about this picture, could it?

Wrong.

For some reason, Allura had assigned Keith to be his partner. He scowled at himself, making a mental note to not let her use his facial creams for at least a week’s future.

True to Hunk’s words the evening before, Keith was acting quite peculiar. Lance had expected the shorter boy to protest as much as Lance had when they were assigned to each other, but the had mainly shrugged and muttered something incoherent. It had really not worked any wonders to cheer up Lance’s change in mood.

Lance kept his thoughts to himself though, as he walked with Keith toward the city centre. It appeared to be some sort of market this day, as many of the inhabitants were gathered around tables with all sorts of alien things. They walked around the stands, just looking out for any suspicious (aka: Galran) activity.

The planet was filled with all sorts of aliens, so thankfully the two earthlings didn’t stand out too much. Over all, the inhabitants of the planet, called Contrica, looked rather humanoid. And they didn’t look too bad either, by such standards. Lance saw a trio of contricans, who he assumed were female, watching him, and he did the only things he could think off; smiled and winked flirtatious at them. The group of aliens all started giggling at him, and one of them, whom he assumed was their “leader”, even waved a bit at him. He was almost on his way over, to go chat with them, when he felt a hand on his arm. He looked beside him to see Keith with a scowl on his face.

“We came here to see if the planet is safe from Galran interference, not for you to chat up their inhabitants”.

Lance made a grimace, and shrugged the shorter boy’s hand off him. Part of him felt annoyed at being interrupted when he actually got some response, while another part felt somewhat relieved at seeing the Korean boy being his serious, grumpy self again. He changed his expression into a smirk, and raised an eyebrow.

“Wow, jealous much? Jeez, calm down. There’s enough of Lance to come around”.

He expected Keith to bicker back, maybe scoff, or whatever; instead the shorter boy jumped back, as if he’d been burned, spluttering out something Lance couldn’t comprehend – something in Korean? Japanese? – And turned his face and started speed walking in the opposite direction. Lance took a few seconds to take in the situation, before realising that he probably better follow suit. He gave the group of contricans an apologetic smile, as he had to jump into a jog to catch up with the boy.

When he caught up, the raven-haired boy refused to talk or even look at him, making Lance frown. Ok, there was totally something up with him… but Lance decided that he wasn’t going to care, and kept his mouth shut for the time being.

-

Two hours of tense silence and no action later, Lance felt he was going mad. The boy at his side obviously had some issues, but Lance felt as if he was going to die if he had to stay quiet for another second. As the pair reached a stand where they served drinks and which had seats and shade, Lance saw his chance.

He stopped Keith with a hand on his shoulder, which did the trick as the shorter boy halted with a stiffening back. He turned to Lance, with a raised eyebrow.

“What”.

Keith sounded tense, but Lance didn’t care. He gestured for the little space-café.

“I’m really tired! Let’s go get something to drink”.

Keith made a grimace, and turned his eyes suspiciously at the tiny place. As he met his eyes again, he wore an unimpressed expression. Lance could almost hear him sigh out ” _really_ “ in his head.

Lance pouted.

“Please?”

Keith kept his expression for a few seconds, before he signed.

“Fine”.

Lance almost skipped towards the stand, his mood already lighter. He turned to the boy behind him, threw a big smile before continuing to the stand.

“Yippee! Come along now”.

He didn’t see how the shorter boy’s face became somehow flustered, before he followed him inside the little café.

-

“Ok, sit down here, I’ll go buy something”.

Lance almost pushed Keith down on a seat. The shorter boy still looked a bit uncomfortable at the thought of taking a pause in the patrolling, but Lance wasn’t listening to his protests.

“You know what you want, or should I surprise you?”

Keith just scratched his ear, looking a bit uncomfortable. Still he looked up with a non-amused expression.

“Well, it’s not as if I know any of the drinks here. Surprise me, just please refrain from choosing anything that will kill us”.

Lance smirked at this, Keith at once being back to his usual self.

“Will be, sir”.

He made a mock-salute, before walking off to the cashier. As he made his way, he had to glance back at the boy. Lance wouldn’t ever admit it, but he sure felt a bit bothered by his behaviour. It wasn’t really like him, just zooming out and ignoring Lance’s tries to rile him up. He sighed, but was interrupted in his thoughts as the alien by the checkout gave him a cheery hello.

He smiled back as she countered with another cheery sentence.

“What would you like today?”

Lance looked at the menu, but of course he couldn’t really tell what it said. Damn Altean translation devices, not translating written languages. He made a somewhat embarrassed smile at the lady.

“Well, I don’t really know the language, I’m afraid. You see, me and my friend”,

Lance made a nod back at Keith who sat by the wall,

“Are just visiting. But what do you recommend, sugar?”

The alien in the checkout giggled at this, covering her small mouth with her three thick and blue fingers

“Well, I guess I can think off something. What do you and your friend prefer?”

Lance crooked his head as he though.

“Well, I like it tart, and my friend… he’s got a bit of a sweet tooth, I think”.

She nodded and winked at him. Lance turned to look over the little boutique as she made their drinks. Mostly contricans were gathered in the space, but also a few of other species, taking shelter from the light and heat outside. And then there was Keith. And suddenly it was as though he saw the boy for the first time.

There the Asian boy sat, the corner of the room, a spark of light traveling over his cheek, illuminating his pale skin. Lance thought Keith seemed lost in his thoughts again. The flicker of light reflecting in his eyes had them recalling the sight of glistering onyxes, and Lance couldn’t help the line of thought travelling through his head: _he is pretty_. Though, as soon as the thought had crossed the Cuban boy’s mind, Keith turned his eyes to meet his eyes and Lance turned his back toward him quick as ever.

The pretty alien was finished with their drinks when he had turned around though, which was a good timing. A distraction.

The girl smiled at him as he picked up his money and gave it to her. She gave him his change. Lance smiled to her, just about to thank her for the drinks, as she interrupted him.

“I hope you and your partner enjoy you drinks”.

She winked at him and went to the backroom before Lance could protest. As he walked back to the table he was a blushing mess. As he arrived at where Keith was seated, the boy frowned at him.

“Took you long enough”.

Lance just muttered back, not quite willing to meet his gaze.

“Whatever. Yours is the pink one”.

Keith just raised an eyebrow at him, before testing his drink. Lance watched as his expression went from unamused to excited, and couldn’t help but smile.

“To your liking?”

Keith glanced up at him, a ghost of a smile on his own lips.

“It’s really good”.

Lance swallowed, and took a sip of his own drink. It was tart and a tad bit sour, just like he enjoyed it. He tried to focus on the taste and enjoy they way it helped his thirst, but mostly he tried to block out his weird thoughts about the shorter boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hm lance what happened,, 
> 
> i'm sorry i don't really know, this chapter is kinda short and took a while to write, i'll try to do better. Stressed out by school and illness. lol. 
> 
> love,  
> tove


	3. red eyes

After the mission, Lance felt as though he had been brainwashed. During the evening and the following days, whenever he laid his eyes upon the shorter boy, the word pretty just kept haunting his mind.  
Lance couldn’t really understand what the fuss was about. He had never found Keith ugly, but it was Keith – grumpy, serious, I-do-not-understand-jokes-at-all-Keith. He had a pale kind of prettiness to him, with his thick brows and full lips, but never had Lance noticed it in the way he did now. About three days after his newfound ability to view Keith’s features, he had to speak up about it.  
He was with Hunk, lounging in the parlour. On this rare occasion it was just the two of them, the others were away doing their own things. Hunk was lying with his head on Lance’s lap, who aimlessly braided the Samoan boy’s hair. It reminded Lance a bit of the way he used to help his older sister with her hair and Hunk liked people touching his hair, so it was a win-win situation.  
As he braided the locks of hair, being somehow displeased with how much thinner his friend’s hair was compared to his siblings’, he started thinking about Keith again. Not Keith in particular, but his thick, dark hair, and how satisfying it must be to form it into hundreds of small braids. But then he realised that he in fact was thinking about Keith, and the word pretty came to mind once again. Lance unconsciously paused his moving hands, outraged with how his brain couldn’t seem to stop.   
Of course, this didn’t go without Hunk’s notice; the bigger boy opened his eyes and glanced up at his best friend. Lance seemed to stare into nothing, with a somewhat closed-off expression, and Hunk didn’t think the Cuban boy had even realised he had stopped pulling his fingers through his locks of hair.   
Hunk observed the expression on his friends face, and tugged his arm to get his attention.  
“Hey, man, what’s going on?”  
At first, Lance’s features formed a surprised face, but then it changed into an almost-frown. Lance just shook his head at his friend.  
“No, well… no”.  
Now Hunk felt a bit more worried. It wasn’t like Lance to be quiet and avoiding, even though he was sometimes a bit fickle in his moods, quick to go from annoyed to almost speeded, it was seldom he did not manage to just brush his mood swings of his shoulder. Frankly, Lance loved to complain. Twice, Lance had been this way with Hunk, and both times it had been about homesickness, and they had spend the night hours together, cuddling and crying. Hunk rose up from his best friend’s lap and situated himself by his side, put a hand on his friend’s shoulder.  
“Seriously, Lance, what’s going on?”  
The Cuban boy didn’t want to look at him, but Hunk kept quiet, knowing Lance would come along only he got a few seconds to clear his head. Hunk knew Lance had a way of feeling either too much or close to nothing, but how he was good at controlling it around the rest of the team. He wasn’t hot-headed like some, but he did get hung up on details from time to time. And the only way for him to get through it was to talk about it.  
Hunk put a bit of pressure into his grip on the shoulder, to show he was there and willing to listen. He heard Lance take a deep breath, before he spoke in a low and somewhat confused voice, still with his face away.  
“Hunk, I just, uhm. What do you think of… Keith?”  
Hunk blinked. He looked at his best friend next to him.   
"Is this about Keith?"  
He knew he was wearing an expression of disbelief, but still he sighed when he saw Lance sink deeper into the sofa.   
"You know, he's an alright guy..."  
Lance made a grimace. Hunk tried again.   
"I don't know what he has done this time, but you know, whatever he has done, it's probably your fault"  
Now Lance turned to him, red in the cheeks and with a look of betrayal on his face. Hunk had to snort.   
"Sorry, buddy. Gotta keep it real"  
Lance scowled again, and turned his face away.   
"Whatever..."  
But then Hunk felt a bit bad. He patted Lance on his arm, and tried to sound reassuring.   
"Well, you're both a bit... too much when it comes to each other. But I honestly think you guys would get along if you tried. He's actually a nice guy"  
Lance glanced to him, seemingly troubled. Hunk sighed again.   
"If it's anything in particular, I'm all ears. Unless it's something silly, like --".  
Lance spluttered, interrupting Hunk. He didn’t really know what Hunk had been about to bring up, but he didn’t want to know. Several things came to his minds, and he prefered them being just so; in his mind and not out in the open. The Samoan boy just snickered, causing Lance to whisper in a theatrically hurt tone.  
“Rude”.  
But he smirked, and Hunk laughed. He could see some of the tension go out of the Cuban boy’s body, and he supposed it was enough for now. So Hunk shrugged and lay the back of his head down on Lance's lap again, and Lance continued pulling his hair into small braids not long after. He felt silly about even asking, and decided to just forget about it. It was Keith, after all. Who cares?  
-  
Lance had tried his best to avoid the other boy, but of course he had to come face to face with him sooner or later. He just had preferred it not being when he was sneaking around in the kitchen for a midnight-snack.  
Lance was checking the cupboards, searching for Hunk’s secret hideout for his baked goods, as a voice behind him caused him to half jump out of his skin.  
“What are you doing?”  
Lance turned around slowly, hoping it wasn’t the one he thought it was, but to no use; it was indeed Keith standing behind him. The dimmed lights from inside the cupboards illuminated his face, highlighting his pale skin and also his judging expression. Lance felt his cheeks heat up from being caught in the act, and only because of that. Of course he was embarrassed, no one liked to be spotted while sneaking for food in such ungodly hours.  
He spluttered out.  
“What does it look like? What are you doing?”  
Nice one, Lance. He almost smiled with triumph, but stopped himself as he saw Keith starting to frown at him, clearly displeased with Lance’s behaviour. This annoyed Lance, and he closed the cupboard and got up from where he was bent over on the floor. After Shiro’s disappearance, Keith had taken the role as the leader in more than one way; he had also adapted Shiro’s behaviour as an authority. And that was how he acted now.  
Lance scowled back at the Korean boy.   
“What? I was hungry?”  
Seeing Keith now, with his condescending expression, Lance suddenly forgot why he had avoided Keith for the past days. Now he felt simply annoyed.  
Keith made a grimace.  
“Why didn’t you just say so? Christ, why can nothing be simple with you…?”  
He took a deep and annoyed breath, almost whispering out the last sentence, and that was enough for Lance. He clenched his fist.  
“I’m in the kitchen during night hours, looking through the cupboards, and you wonder what I’m doing? Isn’t that obvious? I think it should be”  
He unconsciously started walking toward Keith. His sudden change in behaviour caught Keith off guard, and he seemed to tense up as Lance got closer, but unable to move any way but backing toward the wall. With a slight thump his back meet with the thick stone..  
When Lance was close enough, he grabbed hold of Keith’s arm.  
“Anyway, what’s your deal?”  
He was almost pressed up against Keith now, and the raven-haired boy seemed to be stiff as stone, his back against the wall.  
“I can’t believe I’ve been so hung up on you for the past few days, you’re totally not pretty – you’re still the same, rude, annoying, too-good-to-be-true Keith”  
He saw the Asian boy’s eyes widen at this, but he paid no attention. He wasn’t even sure he could see straight at the moment, but his eyes wasn’t really on Keith’s face. He started rambling again, but as his eyes actually started gain focus, he had to double take.  
“Cut me some slack, you’ve been acting so weird the past few days as well, and – wait, why are your eyes so red?”  
It was a moment of silence, when the two boys just stared at each other. Lance saw that Keith’s eyes indeed were red, as if he’d been crying. Lance opened his mouth, to say anything, but then Keith seemed to gain control over his limbs again, and pushed him off of him. Lance scrambled to the ground, falling right on his butt.  
“Ow! The hell, dude?”  
He looked up to see Keith stare him down, but his façade was a bit cracked. Lance just stared up at him, and they held eye contact until Keith suddenly turned and dashed out of the door.  
-  
If Hunk had thought Lance and Keith was acting peculiar the days before, it was nothing compared to now. Where they earlier had been loud and making a fuss wherever they went, they now were just… weird, almost shy around each other.  
Watching as they both had reached for the same item on the kitchen table, and when their hands accidentally touched, they had totally jumped away. Keith looked grumpier than usual, and Lance just… well, Lance was Lance. Wearing his heart on his sleeve.  
Hunk sighed to himself as he was walking toward the lab. He had a hunch of what was going on, but until Lance would come to him himself, he’d stand by and do nothing, just pray that neither of them killed the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you thought this fic was dead? lmao bithc me too
> 
> can't wait for s3!!!


	4. hollow and tired

The more Keith thought about it, the more flustered he felt.

He was sitting on his bed, polishing his dagger, but the chore didn’t calm his thoughts at all. Casting one glance at the knife, he decided it was shiny enough, and put it down next to his thigh on the duvet. Pulling his fingers through his course black hair, sighing and closing his eyes, he once more tried to gather his wits. It had now been a few day since his encounter with Lance in the kitchen. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act around the younger man no more. He didn’t know when it started, but somehow he thought he li- li- l--. Keith growled and threw his pillow against the wall, once again pulling his hair. He couldn’t even think the word. He felt lightheaded, and not only from the pain he was causing on his scalp. The worst part yet was how Lance had seen him with puffy eyes obviously from crying to his heart’s content. He couldn’t believe how he could let his guard down like that. But it was impossible to stay on his own square, when the other boy was so… so… Keith let out another low growl.

When did it start? He didn’t know. But he couldn’t imagine that it had been going on for that long. Just a week earlier he was able to stand his ground when the other started acting out, but now it was like he couldn’t even breathe the same air without turning into a fool. It wasn’t his own fault though. It all was to be blamed on Lance. If he hadn’t started blurting out weird things like calling Keith pretty, or telling him he was thinking about him constantly, Keith probably wouldn’t had ended up like he was now. He knew he had somewhat a soft spot for the cuban boy, how their relationship had developed past heated enemies and into friendly rivality. He thought he even could call it friendship, not that he ever would mention it to Lance. As soon as he realised there was more sides to the self-proclaimed Don Juan, he couldn’t stop finding even more sides he could like. He admired the other boy for the way he could keep his confidence up, even though his esteem probably wasn’t as high as he let on. He appreciated his initiative mind, how he had saved the team from troubles several times. Keith even liked how Lance could calm him down when he got way too reckless. But this? It couldn’t be happening. He had so many things that needed his consideration, but all he could think about was Lance, his blue eyes a storming ocean, his face close up, his voice a low growl... Keith laid down on his back, pushing his hands against his eyes. He let out a deep sigh. He couldn’t handle this.

“Shiro…”, he swallowed. “Please come back… I need you. Your guidance”.

This time he had to bite back with all his might to not start spilling tears over his brother’s absence. He felt confused, lonely and, mostly, pathetic.

-

Meanwhile, Lance had troubles of his own to consider. He was lying in his room as well, just getting ready for bed, going through his routine, when he could hear it again. The sound of crying. Lance laid down on his bed, digging his palms into his eyes. He had a mask on his face, but right now he didn’t care about it smudging.

“What should I do….”, he mumbled, feeling all sorts of ways again.

For a second he felt almost willing to go over and let himself into the older boy’s room, but then he remembered that they weren’t on the best of term right now, and also he felt it would be way to awkward. Like, knocking and going:  _ are you crying? You know, I’ve heard you multiple times. It is in fact the reason I can’t sleep during nights and can’t think about nothing but you _ . Lance almost snickered at his own thoughts, before he sighed again. 

“As if that’d work out”, he gritted out lowly between his teeth. But what would work out? Not doing anything at all? Was that really better than confronting the issue? The situation couldn’t get worse anyway, being the way it was now was truly devastating for the team spirit. Even Pidge could notice how something was up, even though they had their head in their calculations all day. If going by their investigate stare, they didn’t like what they were seeing. When Hunk tried to make him talk about it, he didn’t know what to say, only mutter something and quickly run off. If he didn’t really understand the issue, how could he talk about it? Not even cleaning with Coran and hearing his stories about great, old Altea could take away the sense that something was off. Allura was furious, and with good measure, but she didn’t chew him out about it, the harsch reproaches were saved for Keith. Once, Lance had stepped in on them discussing it, only for him to see Keith deflate like a balloon, not having anything to say back. That took Allura aback as well, and after that Lance didn’t find any such situation again.

Sighing once more, Lance rose from the bed and walked into the bathroom. As he washed his face off of any mask, he looked at himself through the bathroom mirror. The dark circles were thankfully still gone, but if things continues like this for too long, he wasn’t sure when his face would turn hollow and tired again.

-

The next day it was time for field work once again. Thankfully, this time Lance didn’t have to be teamed up with Keith. Last time went well enough, but that was before any of the weird things happened. Keith was paired off with Pidge and Allura, to try to go under the city, while Lance had Hunk with him to travel through the city, and meet the inhabitants, search for suspicious activity. 

The planet of the day was called Nyo. The air was humid, but not warm. It made your skin feel like it was crawling, breaking out in cold sweat, so the team had put on special facemasks before exiting the ship. They weren’t too sure if the air was safe for humans. Lance and Hunk walked past several other space ships which were parked outside the city walls. By the time they reached the city, they had to show up ID’s. Of course, it wasn’t their legit ID’s, since that would have meant danger for their safety, but so they got through and all was well.

“Have a nice visit!” The alien in the check-in told them as they passed through. Lance could imagine that they smiled, and he smiled back and winked. As they had moved a bit further, Lance noticed how Hunk stared at him with a look of unbelief. Lance rose one eyebrow at him.

“What?”

Hunk just shook his head.

“No, I just thought…”, the bigger man paused. “Never mind, let’s search this city”

Lance felt curious at what he had thought, but he figured he would find out later, at a better time, and he kept quiet and moved along with his friend.

-

Several hhours and ticks later, and the two boys were both tired and hot. Lance spotted what looked like a little café, and eagerly pointed towards it. Hunk followed his gestured, and then lit up.

“Absolutely! I’d kill for a drink and then some right now! Let’s go!”

Arriving to the door, Lance first entering, almost letting out a big sigh at the sight of trillions of different drinks along the bar desk. Hunk wasn’t much better, actually making sound to his relief.

“Lovely… hey, I go sit down, while you order? You know what I like, right?”

Lance made a salute, and nodded with a smile.

“Yes yes, same as me, tart and yellow”

Hunk gave him a thumbs up, and then turned to find them a seat. Lance himself turned to the cashier. They greeted him with a smile, and Lance returned it. The cashier had a dark blue skin, alike the other inhabitants of Nyo, with what looked like a beak for mouth, two slots for a nose, and eyes big and jet black. The hands looked big and somewhat clumsy, but Lance knew by now that he shouldn’t be judgemental, basing his newfound trust in the blue aliens on how he had seen their capability during his and Hunk’s travel through the city. They were very capable, blue and big-handed or not.

Lance choose, albeit a bit blindly, two drinks on the showcase. The alien nodded to him, and turned to mix them. Lance then turned from the cashier, and tried to spot Hunk. When he saw him, he somewhat had to do a double take, as he watched his friend sit at the end of the local, getting shine on him from the planet’s star, and he could feel the difficult sense of deja vû. But he had to break that train of thought, as the cashier called for his attention. He merely shrugged inwardly and paid for the refreshments.

Arriving at the table, he handed Hunk the yellow drink, which the samoan boy gratefully took and immidiately took a sip out of. Lance kept the green one.

“Ah, this drink is really lovely?”   
Lance smiled, and tried his own. His really was spectacular as well. Tart, without turning sour. Sweet, without being teeth rotting. Perfect mix. Yin and Yang. Universe in balance.

“Wow” was all he said though, before taking his seat across the table of his friend.

They spoke leisurely for a while, enjoying some rest and refreshment, until Hunk suddenly got quiet, seemingly struggling. 

“What, pal?”, Lance asked him, at once worried. Hunk only shook his head.

“I’m fine, just… remember what I said when we arrived?”   
Lance had to think for a while, going through what had been said during the day, until he realised what the big boy meant.

“Ah, about the thing you thought I… thought I did? Or something”.

Hunk nodded, and scratched his neck.

“Well, I just wanted, well, we all need actually, for the team, you know, uh…”   
Lance put his hand lightly on his best friend’s muscular arm, drinks forgotten.

“You’re clearly feeling bad because of this. Just tell me”.

Lance didn’t know what he expected, but it clearly wasn’t what he heard next.

“I just.... I think....”, he scratched his neck again. “Do you like Keith, Lance?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sjdjbfhwebhj I'm so sorry..... i suppose no one reads this story anymore, but hey, i'm hypomanic again, so i can write, uhm, i've already got the next chapter started, and I doubt it will be more than, uhm, 3-4 chapters more to go? I'm sorry? If you read this pls give me a comment and some kudos idk. Boring chapter, but we're getting there, i think i have somewhat a plan. who am i kidding. i am winding this as i go  
> I haven't proof read this for mistakes, so, sorry eheh  
> xx, tove


	5. Chapter 5

“Do you like Keith, Lance?”

Lance felt his chin fall onto the table at the sound of his best friend’s question. His face heated up and he felt his back starting to sweat. Gross.

“I-- what? What?!” He spluttered. “What the heck, Hunk!”

His friend looked hangdog, but Lance knew from the look in his eyes that there was no hesitation in his claim. At once, Lance felt unbelievably annoyed. The audacity! Obviously he wouldn’t put it past his best friend to notice that something was up, and that that something might have to do with a certain raven-head, but assuming it was because he was in love with the very source of the problem? It was absolutely outrageous and Lance felt so let down. He gritted his teeth, and spat out in a low voice, doing his best not to yell and make a scene.   
“Unless you’re not done talking absolute bullshit, I’d like very much to leave and go back to report. Nothing peculiar has happened on this planet either, and I’d like to breathe actual air, you know, on the ship”.

Without waiting for a reply, Lance got up and turned to leave. He heard Hunk scrambling to get up and follow, but he didn’t even think of looking back to see how he was doing. When they were out of the café, Hunk caught up. Lance noticed Hunk glancing at him a few times, but he stood his ground, not bothering to meet his looks. They walked in a tense silence, all the way to the ship, and they did not find any trouble this time back either.

-

Catching up with the rest of the team was now all kinds of even more awkward than ever. Before, Lance had had problems meeting the eyes of Keith’s, but now he couldn’t look at any of them.  _ They look at me, and they think I… that I.... _ He couldn’t even think it. He had his arms crossed, not bothering to pay any attention, letting Hunk do the explanation of what they had found and not. All he wanted was to leave and go to his bed, sleep for a few hours, or years. Then he noticed everyone was breaking up, and he sighed of relief. Until he raised his head, and met with the stare of a certain someone. Keith was giving him a piercing look, and for a second Lance was lost, mainly staring back, not knowing what to do. He didn’t know how to interpret the gaze that was directed at him, those purple eyes seemed to drag him in, almost as if… 

_ Do you like Keith, Lance?  _ Lance averted his look as if burned, and that was how he felt. Hot and burned. He didn’t bother to look at Keith one last time, before he turned around and bolted.

-

Keith always though he was well prepared for whatever life chose to throw at him, but circumstances did seem to want to prove him wrong, again and again. He was teamed up with Pidge and Allura, supposed to go undercover to search for hidden clues in the underworld of a planet called Nyo, but not long after entering the backside of the city he was dragged off to a secular place where they.... bought shaved ice? As Pidge handed him a cone, he couldn’t help but stare dumbly at the ice, feeling all sorts of flabbergasted. Eventually, he took the cone, and Pidge settled down. Allura came along as well, with two cones, of which one she handed to Pidge. They both started eating, and Keith felt awfully dumb, as if he’d missed something entirely.

“What the hell is going on?”

They both paused at the same time, looked at him, looked at each other, at him again. Keith gritted his teeth.

“How is this doing anything? How are we supposed to find any clues or whatever  _ here _ ”, he gestured toward the empty stall, whereas only them and a very bored-looking, blue alien was situated. “Are you guys clowning me, or whatever!” 

His eyes narrowed. 

“Is this Lance’s plan?”

The two in front of him looked at each other again, and then Pidge snickered and Allura gave a little giggle. Keith just felt way, way more confused.  _ Not Lance then, huh? _

Allura was the first to speak up, after she had gathered herself properly. 

“Indeed, we are “clowning” you, assuming it means we have had you fooled. But”, she continued, as she saw Keith starting to flare up, “it  _ is  _ for a good reason. For the team”.

She took a mouthful of her shaved eyes, chewing it softly, and then swallowing before continuing. 

“Lately, the team spirit has been… deflated”

Pidge snickered again, mumbling  _ deflated  _ to themselves. Allura either ignored or didn’t hear, because she kept going as if naught.

“And, as you are the current leader of Voltron, it’s unacceptable that you’re also a reason for this… conflict”

Keith felt  _ his  _ spirit deflate. He couldn’t even argue. He knew what kind of problems this issue he had with Lance caused the team.

Pidge beat him to speaking his mind, though. They had already finished their ice, and looked refreshed and excited.

“And that’s why we’re here today! Because of you messing up! The planet is clean”, they casually picked the cone out of Keith’s hand, and started eating this one as well. “So pucker up, and spill!”

Allura put her hand on the green paladin’s arm, as a mother trying to calm her child, and continued.

“We want to understand the issue, so we can work around it”.

Keith finally spoke up.

“The issue? Well, that’s…”

And then he once again started thinking about Lance saying he was thinking about him, couldn’t sleep because of him, pushing him up a wall, his face close, so close…. and suddenly Keith felt his face heating up. He snapped out of it, shaking his head to gather his thoughts, scramble out of it, but he was not as smooth with his expressions as he had hoped. He couldn’t snap out of it quickly enough, not before both the paladins in front of him could notice and understand his expression. They both looked absolutely grounded.

“Oh”, said Allura, while Pidge shouted out a: “I so called it”.

Keith felt like dying.

-

Going back to the ship felt nerve-wrecking. Keith didn’t feel like a leader. He felt even more like an 18 year old boy than he had prior. All he wanted was the comfort of family and leadership. He couldn’t be both a leader of the universe’s saviours and a lovestruck kid. And he didn’t know which one he preferred to be either.

Upon seeing Lance, he definitely felt like the latter. The blue paladin looked like an ocean in a roaring storm, looking nowhere and everywhere but at the group. He looked like he had clammed up, shut like a shell.

Keith tried to focus on Hunk speaking.

“Uh, we found nothing suspicious… I mean. Nothing at all… uh…”   
Pidge sighed. 

“Hunk, you suck, it’s fine, Keith knows it was a scam”

They winked at Keith, and he felt himself turning fifty shades of red again. Thankfully, Hunk didn’t seem to notice. 

“Hey, not so loud, Lance doesn’t know…”   
Pidge shrugged, but it was Allura who spoke.

“I doubt he has heard anything we have said. All is well. Let’s split up for today. And, Keith”, she turned to him, this time with a sharp look. “Figure it out”.

With that, she turned and walked out of the room. Hunk scratched his back, and gestured for Pidge to come along. Keith hadn’t even noticed until now that Coran wasn’t even present, so that left only him and Lance left in the room. He watched the younger boy. He didn’t like the way his expression looked pained and bothered, and he did wonder what Hunk had talked to him to. Obviously not the same speech as he himself had gotten, judged by Hunk’s panic at the mission being revealed as a fraud.

_ Should I talk to him? Now? Will he listen?  _ He thought to himself, and opened his mouth to call for the other boy’s attention. But as the name was on his tongue, Lance seemed to snap out of his trance and see that the room had been deserted. Except… then Lance meet his gaze, and Keith felt as though the time had stopped. He couldn’t tell what the look in the other boy’s eyes meant, but he knew it wasn’t anger nor disgust, and Keith felt a somewhat hopeful emotion. Which was silly, since Lance a second later jumped, as if burned, and turned to run. Keith was alone, again.

-

Lance was running.

_ Shit shit shit holy shit _ , he yelled inside his head. He was fast heading for his room, longing just to lie down and stop existing for a while. His head was in turbulens, and he felt mad.  _ What the hell what the hell what the hell-- _

Reaching his room, he quickly threw it open, clicking it closed as soon as he had entered. Not even caring to change into something more comfortable than his suit, he threw himself onto the bed. He just wanted to sleep, sleep until he could know what was going on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing 24/7 the last few days, lmao. If you're into ASTRO, check out my fic "i'm in love with a fairytale". If not, that's cool too. From now on I'll update once a week, but I just wanted to get this off my chest. Yeet. Finally getting somewhere, eh?  
> love,  
> tove xx


	6. what are you gonna do 2

Lance didn’t think it possible, but amazingly being around Keith became even  _ more  _ awkward than it had prior to the last mission. Before, it had been with confusion and unidentified bitterness, but now it felt like he had avoided Keith all this time because of a  _ crush _ ! Lance shook his head, resting in the bathtub as he was. He felt as if someone had done him wrong, but still he knew Hunk had meant well by his question.  _ Or claim _ , he thought bitterly. He still felt so betrayed, he didn’t doubt one second that they all were well aware of what Hunk had put forward, meaning they all knew something about him that wasn’t even true. He felt shivers only imagining them having group sessions, discussing him and his  _ feelings _ .

Realising the bath didn’t make him relax, he rose from the water and grabbed a towel. He had to talk to Hunk.

-

Keith was in the training room, trying to clear his head by working out. Emphasis on  _ trying _ . By the wall was Pidge, as if a evil spirit, sent to bother him in any way possible. He tried hard not to mind them, since this particular program needed his full attention. But of course the devil-child didn’t care about that one bit.

“So, what are you going to do about it?”, asked the green paladin suddenly.

Keith was trying to not die, so he mainly gritted out,

“Do about what?”

He heard Pidge sigh next to him, but he tried to put all his concentration on the target in front of him.

“Your feelings for Lance, duh”.

At this, Keith lost his concentration. That slight second of hesitation was what go the robot to kick him in the stomach and made him fly into the wall. He heard Pidge gasp and say “ _ program off _ ”, but he could merely grunt in pain. He heard light footsteps and saw a shadow shade him from the light. Looking up, there was indeed Pidge. They frowned, putting out their hand for him to grab.

“Are you trying to die, moron?”

Keith scowled, but still took the hand and rose to his feet. His stomach felt really sore, and he didn’t doubt that there would be a nice, big bruise there by tomorrow.

“Stop trying to distract me while I’m training! If I had truly died I would had infested you by the rest of your sad life”.

Pidge laughed at this, and Keith felt his own mouth corners starting to pull upwards. Pidge handed him a towel, which he gratefully took and dried his face with. As he put it down, he noticed Pidge looking at him. He sighed.

“Pidge, no, I’m not going to do nothing about it”.

Pidge gave him a frown, but Keith wasn’t finished.

“Nothing good would come from telling him, and I better just forget about it and try to focus on being a leader, now that…”, he swallowed. “Now that Shiro is gone”.

For a second he felt like crying again, but he rearranged his face. But once again he realised that he probably wasn’t as good at wearing a neutral expression as he had prior thought, because Pidge put their hand on his forearm and looked at him knowingly. They hesitated for a bit, before speaking to him.

“You know, I miss him too…”

Keith looked at them, and found out that they really wasn’t saying it as comfort. Tears began to form in their eyes, and he felt at loss at first, not used to see his quirky friend this vulnerable. But then he did realise that to Pidge, Shiro probably was like a brother figure too. It was someone they knew, who knew their father and brother too. The last confirmation that they, at some point, had been in space, and alive.

Pidge started rubbing their eyes, obviously embarrassed with their sudden emotional outburst. Their other hand was still on Keith’s arm, and he lifted his own hand to place it above the small paladin’s. Pidge lifted their gaze, somewhat surprised, but Keith mainly gave them a small, reassuring smile.

“He was that good, wasn’t he?”, Pidge nodded at this, although unsurely. Keith tried to keep going, though still feeling like crying too. “But, I think I’ve realised by now, that he probably wouldn’t want us crying over his absence, but doing our best with what we have now”, he ruffled Pidge’s hair, which they protested against, but they now smiled, now puffy eyed. He could hear them mutter a quiet “ _ thanks _ ”, as they once more tried to rub at their eyes. Keith smiled back, but then turned serious. 

“I know I haven’t been the best leader the past time, and I know what I’ve done wrong. I swear, I will try to make up for it”.

Pidge nodded, and then looked at him.

“So… what will you do?”

Keith swallowed. 

“I’ll talk to him”.

-

Lance ended up outside Hunk’s room, where he had to take a pause. He knew hesitation was no good for handling a situation, but he just felt so silly. Embarrassed. Hunk had mainly tried looking out for him, trying to figure out what had caused him to act so peculiar, and even though his conclusion wasn’t quite right, he had still tried. And what had Lance done? Behaved like a child? Lance sighed, and then knocked on the door.

He heard at once some shuffling inside, something falling to the floor, a distressed “ _ oh darn it _ ”, before the door was opened and there Hunk stood, looking as if he’d run a mile. The older boy took one look at him, and then he began sobbing, big and uglily.

“Laance”, he cried out, while Lance jumped through the door and into his best friend’s arms. Lance felt himself starting to cry as well. He hated fighting with Hunk, even though it had barely been a day he felt awful.

He got in through the door, still hugging his friend, and they shut the door.

-

“I’m so sorry, Lance”. 

They were sat on Hunk’s bed, both finished crying but only barely. Lance nodded, and ate another of the muffins Hunk had baked prior to his visit.

“I knew I shouldn’t have thrown it on you like that, but I didn’t know how else to get it through to you…”

Lance mainly shook his head, chewing and swallowing before answering.

“Well, your  _ claim _ was stupid, Hunk”, his friend grimaced at this, but Lance kept going, “me, liking Keith? That’s silly. It’s almost as silly as if he had been into me”

Hunk merely swallowed at this, and mumbled something incoherent. Then he shrugged.

“Yes, it was not very smart of me, I agree. Although…”, Lance shot him a sharp look, and Hunk didn’t finish the sentence. Lance kept on speaking.

“Also, what I wanted to know… do the others- I mean, do they, uhm, well”, Lance felt himself grow flustered, but what he was trying to say didn’t seem to get through to his friend, so he had to keep going. Spluttering, he said, “have you spoken to the other’s about this?”

At first Hunk looked confused, then he looked flabbergasted. 

“No! God, no!”, he looked really hurt by the accusation. “Of course not! I would never go around, talking about your business with none else but you… what kind of best friend would I then be?”

Hunk looked ready to cry again. Lance put his hand on his best friend’s arm, reassuring him.

“I didn’t think you would, god no, but i had to ask”.

Hunk mainly nodded, still looking borderline teary. Lance sighed, and put down the basket on the floor. He then opened his arms to his friend and proclaimed,

“Cuddle party?”

As if he needed to ask.

-

On his way back to his shower, Keith came upon a sight he wish he hadn’t. Going around the corner, he saw Lance and Hunk, hugging. Hugging, and then closing the door behind them. Keith felt awful, even 20 minutes later, when he had showered and laid down on his bed. There was this kind of ugly feeling in his chest, and he didn’t know how to describe. Suddenly, he felt so much anger towards the big and friendly yellow paladin, anger he had never felt before. He liked Hunk. Sure, they weren’t really that close, but Keith usually found him fun and sweet, a loyal man you’d take into battle, knowing he’d have your back. But now he mainly felt a dark emotion toward him, and somehow he suspected it was because of Lance. Of course. 

He couldn’t figure it out. He knew the two were good friends, close in another way than he and Shiro had been. They had lived in the same dorm back at Garrison, and they had gone to their classes, been on the same team during activities, probably had spent all their time together… Keith sighed, and tried to relax. Then he suddenly widened his eyes.

He was  _ jealous _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *blasts jealousy by mx*
> 
> don't really know what i'm doing. i guess.  
> as always, kudos and comments are highly appreciated !
> 
> love,   
> tove xx


	7. confrontation

This was the day. Keith was going to confront Lance. Or, let Lance confront him. Nonetheless, it was time to stop beating around the bush, and make do. But he’d be lying, if he didn’t admit that just the thought of speaking up made his stomach in knots. He hadn’t even figured out how to approach the subject. Blurting it out would be nothing short of embarrassing, also probably wouldn’t end very well. But how else? Would the other boy really speak with him on his own terms? Walking to the kitchen to consume his daily dose of breakfast goo, Keith shook his head.  _ I just need to do it. For the team. Get it out in the open, get rejected, have it be awkward for a while, and then it would be over. _ The thought that Lance would like him back didn’t even cross his mind, silly as the thought was.

He walked into the room and found it empty but for Hunk, who seemed to be trying to understand the food machine, maybe to get it to produce anything else but the formless goo it did now. Keith stood and watched him for a while, resting on the doorframe, while he felt the dirty feeling of jealousy try to make its’ way up into his throat, like bile.  _ Stop it _ , he reproved himself. Soon he got tired of simply observing, and walked in, causing the bigger man to jump by his sounds. Hunk turned around with a smile, but it somehow seemed to falter when he spotted Keith. He rose his eyebrow at this.

“H-hi, Keith!”, Hunk spluttered, still with a smile. If Keith didn’t know better, he’d say that he looked… nervous?

But Keith mainly muttered a  _ good morning  _ and sat down at the table. After a while of silence, he looked up at the yellow paladin, whom mainly stared at him, and with a sigh asked,

“May I get some breakfast? You’re kinda holding it up”.

Hunk almost jumped, suddenly looking everywhere but on Keith, but still made the machine produce some green goo and handed it to Keith. Keith muttered a  _ thanks _ , and started eating. Or,  _ tried  _ eating, which proved to be hard while the other man keep glancing at him. At last, Keith patience broke, and he had to snap.

“What!”

The yellow paladin winced, looking embarrassed under Keith’s hard gaze. He scratched his back before answering.

“Well… ah, I’m sorry, but…”

Keith brusquely interrupted him.

“Just get to the point”.

Hunk swallowed, but his expression turned into a serious one.

“You like him, don’t you?”

Keith blinked. Whatever he had been expecting, this wasn’t it.

“I- what?”

He felt his face heat up, and somehow felt he was getting upper-handed by the way the other man’s face lit up at the revelation.

“So you do!”

Keith couldn’t fight of the blush, but he narrowed his eyes.

“What’s it to you?”

Hunk’s smile faltered for the second time this morning.

“I just-”   
Interruption.

“ _ Paladins! We’re under attack! Get to your lions! _ ”

Keith and Hunk exchanged one look, before they both scrambled to their feet. This could wait.

-

“ _ Paladins! We’re under attack! Get to your lions! _ ”

The voice of Allura blasting through the speakers was enough to get through Lance’s earplugs and awaken him from his slumber. He quickly got on his feet, though not as gracefully as he’d hoped, getting his foot caught in his blanket and tripping, causing him to fall onto the floor with a bang. Lance huffed irritably, and got onto his feet. He put the earplugs on his pillow and left the room.

-

As they left the castle in their lions, they saw that indeed a big fleet of galran battleships had closed in on them out of nowhere. They wasted no time attacking, already shooting at both the lions and the castle, though so far without success. Lance felt Red almost trembling with anger and excitement, she was ready to fly out and crush whoever tried to threaten her home, but Lance tried to soothe her, reminding her that they were to stand by until Keith gave them a go.

The speakers sparked, and the red paladin’s voice could be heard through the communication line.

“ _ Ok, guys, let’s not form Voltron just yet. Since we don’t have a 100% success rate, I figure it safer to split up and try to get to the fleet from different directions _ ”.

Allura’s voice agreed through the speakers, while Hunk yelled a “ _ yes _ ”, and Pidge gave a confirming hum. Lance spoke up.

“So it’s just to go ahead attacking? Ok, I’m onto it!”

At once Lance flew onto the sea of battleships, his friends not long after.

“Ok, Red, don’t let me down now...”, he murmured. He felt a low roar pass through the body, as she opened her mouth and spit out fire at the closest ships. Lance cried through his fighting spirit, as he let the red lion guide him through her blasting. His friends was right there next to him, Allura freezing and then lasering ships to pieces, Pidge shooting and then protecting Hunk, as the yellow Lion ripped through with her claws. Only Keith seemed to be await something.

Lance stopped Red for a short while, enough to shout out.

“Keith! What are you doing!”

The black lion seemed to tremble, but Lance had to move out of the way of another shot before he could get a good enough look.

Keith huffed in panic through the line.

“ _ I don’t know what’s happening, it’s Black! She won’t move! I think she’s sensing something _ ”

Lance frowned, letting Red throw out another blast, before they both decided on the same thing immediately.

“Ok, mullet! We’re coming over to cover you, stay put!”

In no time, either, seeing as a few of the smaller ships seemed to have noticed Black on a stand still, and had begun flying towards her. Before they could get in a hit, however, Red was onto them, spraying them down.

“Ok, I’m here! What should we do? I’m not sure for how long the three of the others can hold up without us!”

Allura’s voice replied to him.

“ _ It’s fine for now! Just try to fix the situation _ ”.

Lance nodded, 

“Aye, aye!”

He once again spoke through the direct line to the black lion.

“You said it’s as though she’s sensing something? Like what?”

Keith scoffed.

“ _ If I knew I’d had fixed it by now! _ ”

It was hard to focus, hearing bombs and shots going off around them, but Lance couldn’t help but grow worried, and therefor irritated.

“Don’t get snappy with me, mullet!”

Keith grunted on the other side.

“ _ Are you for real now? _ ”

Red moved again, shooting down some ships on their way to them, while Lance was feeling distracted. He sent his thanks to her, while he kept his focus on Keith, knowing she had his back.

Feeling his impatience growing by the minute, he tried to talk Keith through it.

“What are you feeling? What is she telling you?”

He heard Keith shuffle about inside the black lion, before he replied.

“ _ That’s the thing! She’s not telling me anything. She just refuses to move along _ ”.

He heard Keith pause inside.

“ _ It’s like she’s waiting for something to happen _ ”.

The second Keith spoke, the fighting stopped. They both turned curiously, watching as the ships turned away from their all the same confused friends, to the main fleet. They then opened a work hole, and disappeared.

-

“- how did they even find us?”

“Well, we have to move nontheless!”

They were back on the ship by now, standing in the main room, listening to Allura and Coran trying to figure out where the breech had been, and what they had to do now. Keith knew he should be more active in the conversation, but somehow he just couldn’t. He couldn’t let go off the fact that Black had simply stopped, refused to move or obey his wishes. And how she had immediately started again, by the time the ships had disappeared. It was peculiar, but the only thing she had been willing to share, or done accidentally so, was that something was going on that only she could sense. Keith was so deep in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice Lance coming up to his side.

“So, what the heck happened with Black!”

Keith winced, quickly thrown out of his contemplation. He had not been expecting the other boy to approach him. It was only now he noticed that it had gone quiet around him; Allura and Coran had left the room, his other teammates as well. When did it happen? So he naturally ignored the question and asked:

“Where did everyone go?”

Lance frowned.

“They all left ages ago. So did I. But I walked past and saw you still in here, so I figured…”   
He made a hand gestured towards Keith.

“But seriously, did she tell you what was going on?”

Keith shrugged.

“Simply explained - no, she did not, no. I couldn’t make any contact with her whatsoever on the way back to the ship. She shut me out completely”.

Lance nodded, though he still looked questioning. That was when Keith realised that he and Lance were on their own in the room.  He swallowed.

“But, you know…”, he said, suddenly feeling flustered. Was he really going to do this? Lance looked at him now, and their eyes met. Keith felt like running away. He coughed, trying to get back his voice to normal.

“I need to talk with you”.

But of course Hunk chose that moment to stick his head into the room, 

“Hey, Lance, have you- oh”. 

He stopped as he saw them two, before his eyes widened.

“Oh,  _ oh _ . I’m so sorry”.

Hunk turned and bolted. Keith merely groaned, pressing his palms to his eyes. Lance looked confused, looking after Hunk, before turning to Keith again.

“Okaay?”

Keith shook his head. He started walking past Lance, feeling really tired all of a sudden.

“Nevermind”, he muttered, and headed for the door. He couldn’t get far though, when he felt Lance grab his wrist. He turned to the boy again, whom looked as baffled at his own action as Keith felt. 

“Wait”, he said. “I need to talk to you as well”.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are well appreciated


	8. Chapter 8

_ I need to talk to you too. _

As soon as the words had left Lance’s lips, he felt he was fucked. He hadn’t planned for this at all, not now, not ever. At one hand he truly wanted to confront the other about causing him sleepless nights, but on the second? Wasn’t that totally tactless?

Keith looked at him expectantly, and he felt beads of sweat forming on his back. Desperately he tried to come up with something that didn’t sound like an asshole’s saying. What he finally said made him feel like screaming at himself for years.

“I have been awkward around you and you deserve to know why!”

Keith simply blinked at this, seemingly taken aback. For a while they were merely looking at each other, before the shorter boy disconnected Lance’s hand from his wrist, which he had forgotten he had been holding, and crossed his arms. He looked expectantly and a bit flustered at him, in his eyes an expression he couldn’t quite place.  _ Did he know? _

Lance swallowed and opened his mouth.

-

Keith knew he should stop himself, stop himself from  _ feeling _ . There was nothing to hope for. But the way the other boy had taken his hand, stopped him, told him, what, that there actually was something going on, it was hard not to. Looking at the expression on his face, he figured it  _ could be _ , even though it probably wouldn’t.

But the other boy kept quiet. Gaping like a fish. Keith felt his patience running dry.

“Okay”, he simply said, “I guess not, then”.

He turned to leave again, feeling oddly disappointed.  _ What had he been expecting? _ But then the hand was on his wrist again.

“No, Keith”, he heard from behind him. “Seriously wait”.

For the second time he turned around toward the younger boy. He still looked nervous, but determined. He swallowed.

“I think I understand what has been going on with you, no, I  _ know  _ what has”.

Keith felt his heart starting to beat. 

-

There was something about the expression on the shorter boy’s face which made Lance feel oddly flustered. Looking at him now, he felt that weird feeling in his stomach again. Like butterflies. The red on his pale skin made Lance  _ feel things _ . He was getting off track. He coughed lightly, accidentally grabbing the wrist harder. 

“There has been weird between us lately, and I’ve come to think that it might be a lot because of me”, he coughed again. “Am I correct?”

He saw as the other man reluctantly nodded. His hand holding the wrist felt awfully warm and clammy. He let go. How was he supposed to bring this up?

“I…”, he begun.

-

_ A lot because of you, yes _ , Keith thought to himself. The other man looked flustered, he could only imagine he looked the same, Hell, he  _ felt  _ the same. As if he’d been dipped in hot lava, sweating while also burning to crisps. He was glad the hand was off his wrist. The contact with skin made him feel insane. 

“I…”, the other man begun, before pausing again. Keith waited for a few seconds, before he grew impatient again. 

“Yes, you, what?”

His face was still hot, but now felt more turned into a scowl. 

“If you’re gonna say or do something, just do it. Quit half-assing it”.

He was mainly saying this to get a rise out of the other man, and judging by his expression, it worked. 

“Excuse me? Wow, Mr. Attitude Problem, slow down”. Lance then paused, and with a sigh put his hands over his face. “Stop trying to get to me, mullet”.

Keith shrugged.

“If you’re not going to say anything, then forget it”.

He turned his back to the younger boy for the third time this day, and this time he didn’t bother when he was told to stop. He walked slowly, but as soon as he had passed the corner of the corridor, he begun sprinting.  _ Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefu-.  _ He didn’t take in his surroundings, as he turned around a corner and bumped into someone hardly, causing himself to fall backwards onto the floor. He cursed loudly to himself as he fell onto the ground. Looking up he saw a very worried-looking Hunk. 

“Oh, I’m so… I’m so sorry! Are you ok, Keith?”

Keith wasn’t hurt, but as he saw the big man in front of him he let out a loud sigh.  _ Nice _ . The yellow paladin held out a hand for him, which he grabbed and heaved himself up with. On his feet, he dusted off his clothes.

“I’m fine. Didn’t look where I was heading”. He made a start to walk past the other man, but of course he had no such luck. His arm was grabbed for the third time this day, and as Keith stopped in his tracks he wondered if this was some prank being played on him.

“Wait”, Hunk said. “I must ask…”, Keith waited for it. “What happened in there?”  _ Called it _ . Keith sighed again.

“Nothing happened. Lance was being indecisive. I walked away”.

Hunk looked worried for a second.

“But you do- you do like him, right?”

This time Keith was prepared, but still he felt flustered at the question. But he wasn’t going to go beat around the bush.

“Yes”.

The yellow paladin lost the worried expression, and smiled.

“I knew you did! It’s perfect”.

Keith did a double-take.

“Sorry, what?”

Hunk scratched his neck.

“Sorry, nothing”.

Keith shook his head.

“Ok, well, whatever. I’m just gonna get over with it and tell him. And then the team can go back to how it’s supposed to… how it is supposed to be now”.  _ Without Shiro _ . No one said it, but judging by the expression on the other man, they both thought it.

“Well, Keith, thank you for confiding in me”.

Keith scoffed.

“As if I had a choice”.

But as the other man looked handfallen at his words, he had to correct himself.

“Sorry, I’m joking, Hunk”, he pat the other man on his back, and then gestured to the end of the corridor. “I’m sorta tired though. I’ll see you later”.

Keith walked away and Hunk looked after him. For him, it was nice with the confirmation. For the Blue paladin hiding by the corner of the corridor? Not so much.

-

This night Lance didn’t get much sleep at all. Not because he was awaken by cries, but because he had his thoughts in a twist. 

“He likes me…”, he tried whispering to himself. “No. It can’t be. It must be… no”.

Lance curled together in a ball on his bed. For once he didn’t feel like a big brother, he felt as if he was three years old again, crying for his mama, able to run into her arms and be soothed. No responsibilities. No need to be a big brother yet. This night it was Lance crying himself to sleep, in his confusion and homesickness.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might drop this one again


	9. agony

Waking up the next day was no fun. Lance woke up, and he could already feel his body protesting. He could feel the dark circles under his eyes by mainly yawning. Simply speaking, he felt like shit.

Walking into the bathroom to inspect his face, he found he looked worse than ever. His skin seemed pale and yellow-ish, and his dark circles were deep blue. Lance almost screamed as he saw himself. Quickly kicking the cabinet open, he grabbed his yellow face mask and put it onto his face. He then left the bathroom, breathing in the aroma of something that reminded him of sunflowers, and started picking at his floor, taking up clothes and other things he had thrown there. As he had finished brushing up his room, he felt a bit better, and went to wash his face off. Well finished, his face looked a bit better, but he still decided to correct his countenance with makeup. Dabbing on his face cream, he also picked up a bit of mascara to dab on his eye lashes. Now he looked a bit more alive, but on the inside he still felt dead. He thought back to the day before and he still couldn’t let go of what he had heard.

“ _ But you do- you do like him, right? _ ”

“ _ Yes _ ”

Lance but into his jacket arm and screamed.

-

There were no alerts that day, so Lance stayed put in his room. He didn’t even feel like leaving his room to eat, so buy the time Hunk came knocking on his door he felt like he was starving. He called out a weak “ _ come in _ ” as he heard his friend outside. Hunk walked in with a small basket, smiling widely. Lance didn’t have it in him to smile back, even though his stomach rumbled happily at the smell of newly baked goods. At the sight of his bad mood, Hunk’s smile soon faltered and was exchanged by a worried frown. Before he could ask what was wrong though, Lance called out.

“You traitor!”

Hunk looked so baffled at his words, he almost dropped the basket in his hand. He just stared at Lance, where he was laying draped out on his bed, before he opened his mouth. And closed it. And opened it again.

“I- what?”

Lance glared at him, before staring up to the ceiling.

“You traitor…”, he whispered.

Glancing back at his best friend, he could tell the man felt none the wiser. Lance sighed.

“I heard you”, he said lowly. “Yesterday”.

For a moment Hunk looked just as lost as before, leaning his head to one side, when it suddenly clicked for him and he gaped. This time he actually dropped the basket, and the bread rolled out over the floor. None of the men made a move to pick it up, though Lance now sat up straight on his bed.

“Yes, I heard! You and Keith, about how he- he”, Lance suddenly flushed. “That he- oh, you know!”

Hunk groaned, but Lance didn’t let that stop him.

“You knew, and you didn’t tell me! Did all of you know? Were you all just sitting around laughing at me? Is that it?”, he stopped, suddenly aghast. “Is this some kind of joke? Is Keith actually outside right now- no, are all of them outside, hearing you play this prank on me?”

Lance flew up from his bed, striding towards the door and clicking it open. Outside were eerie and empty, and Lance closed it again. He stayed with his head against the door, feeling his face heat up. Hunk tried to soothe him from behind.

“Lance… that’s not… that’s not how it is at all”.

Lance turned around slowly. He felt like crying from embarrassment and confusion and some undetected feeling in his tummy. He took a shaky breath, before he spoke again.

“Then what? You’re saying that he likes me, and…” his eyes widened. “You think I like him back?! Oh my god, oh my god, Hunk!”

He looked to his friend for some sort of objection, but found none as the man accustomed to scratching his neck and staying quiet. This time it was Lance who couldn’t help but gape. 

“You really think that… that I do?”

Hunk kept scratching his backside and didn’t reply immediately. The quiet confirmation were enough for Lance.

“Well, you know what? You’re wrong. And frankly, I don’t even want to have this conversation right now. I’m hungry”. 

Hunk immediately got down to the floor, picking up the bread and putting them into the baskeet again. Lance was happy he had cleaned his room earlier. Dusty food were never his choice of food, but he knew he’d eaten whatever could be served to him in that moment. He gratefully took a piece from the man who sat awkwardly on the floor and Lance couldn’t help but sigh.

“You can get on the bed, you know, no need to lie on the floor”.

Hunk dared a little smile and got up, walking to sit down on the bed.

“So…”, the other man said, “a piece of bread?”

He put forward the basket and Lance gratefully grabbed one. He really was hungry.

“Thank you”, he said between the bites. Hunk smiled at him.

“What have you been up to today, then?”, asked his best friend.

Lance shrugged.

“Been sleeping. Did some face-care. Cleaned up the place…”, he paused. “And I’ve been in agony. Ugh!”

He winced as the thoughts came back, increased by the lack of hunger that now was apparent. Hunk looked to him worriedly.

“You…”, he quieted down for a moment when Lance threw him a glare. “Ok, I’m not gonna talk about it, but  _ you  _ will have to, at some point. Ignoring the issue will make it no better, you know, nor will it make it go away”.

Lance sighed, knowing he was right. But he wasn’t going to say it.

“He does like you”, Hunk continued, ignoring the way Lance winced. “And, even though you don’t realise it, you like him back. So, figure it out!”

With this, Hunk got up on his feet, ignoring his friend’s look of bafflement. 

“I’m gonna go, I’ve got some more cooking in the kitchen, but”, he said with a glance back where he stood by the door, “when you’re ready to talk, I’m here”.

And then he walked out, leaving Lance on his own in his whirlwind of emotions. 

-

Keith, on the other hand, had had a pretty ok day so far. As Pidge came looking for him, he was in the training room, fighting drones.

“Hi, Pidge”, he said, not chancing a glance to lose focus on the fighters out to hurt him.

“Hello”, the kid replied, before sitting down by the corner of the fighting hall, waiting for Keith to finish. After some time, Keith decided he had had enough, and called for the end of the program. He turned to Pidge, where they were sitting.

“What’s up?”, he said when he was in speaking distance, gratefully taking the towel which was handed to him by the kid. He wiped it over his brows, feeling the pleasant post-exercise fatigue come over him.

Pidge had an expression of contemplation written over their face, and Keith stopped his wiping to focus fully on them, waiting for them to speak up.

“You know, you said there was some issue with Black last time, right?” Keith nodded at this. “And you said there was as if she knew something that she was not willing or could not share with you?”

“Yes, that’s right”, Keith replied.   
Pidge nodded.

“I think I’ve figured out what that might be”.

Keith stayed quiet, waiting for them to keep going.

“I’ve listened through the recordings from the fight, and have also looked into the reading of what Black felt during the freezing”, they stopped, frowning, “don’t tell her, it was without her consent, seeing as I doubt she’d show me. And, well, what I could read out was a feeling of shortcut, followed by recognition and hope”.

Keith held his breath, willing the other to say what he hoped they would. Pidge scratched their arm mindlessly, but before speaking they looked into Keith’s eyes.

“I think she might know where Shiro is”. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see. i'm trying my best to work on this fic, it just goes. meh. i hope you like this chapter though, sorry it is a bit short.


	10. confrontation !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk abt this chapter but here we goo

Keith spent the rest of the day outside Black’s quarters. He tried to talk to her, make her tell what was really going on. He and Pidge had decided not to tell the others of what the green paladin might have found, not until they had more to go on.

“Black”, he said to her, “please talk to me. Tell me what’s going on”.

The big black lion kept silent, not even acknowledging his presence. Keith tried again.

“Do you know what has happened to Shiro? Have you heard anything about him? Anything?”

But she said nothing and Keith frustratedly got up on his feet. He paused in front of her, touching her paw, but she was shut like a clam. Keith felt nothing from her. He let go of her and sighed to himself, burrowing his hands in his hair. He felt frustration fill him, choking him like a noose. That was when he heard steps behind him, and turned around. Who he saw approaching made him feel a whole other way of strangled. 

“Hello”, the blue paladin greeted reluctantly. He scratched his chin. “Uhm. Pidge told me you were here?”

Keith cursed inwardly at the green paladin. Betrayed by his own kind. Outwardly, he crossed his arms.

“What is it?”

He watched as the other man looked away, shrugging awkwardly at him.

“Nothing, I just…”

Keith sighed and burrowed his face in his hands.

“Please, Lance. I’m busy. Just tell me, will you? Or just leave”.  _ Preferably _ , he thought to himself.

But Lance stood his ground and didn’t turn. Looking at his face, he seemed determined, though nervous.

-

Lance felt as though he was going to die. Standing in front of Keith, who looked both daring and insufferable and all things he had always thought, but at the same time he admitted to himself that the korean man looked really pretty, where he was standing in the shadow in front of the black lion. He swallowed. He had to do this.

“Why are you talking to Black?”

Soon. 

Keith narrowed his eyes.

“What’s it to you?”, he asked. Lance threw up his arms in surrender.

“Man, I’m just asking”.

He sighed at himself.

“I just… I just came to talk, ok?”

He watched as Keith frowned, and then begun walking past him.

“Well, I don’t want to”.

Lance panicked.

“I know!”

He watched Keith freeze, just a step past him. He turned slowly.

“You… know what?”

His expression was one of fright. Lance groaned, scratching his chin once more. 

“I know! And you should know what I know!”

Keith shuddered in front of him. No, actually, as Lance was looking closer, he was positively shaking. 

-

Keith said nothing, but in his mind was a mantra, going  _ no, no, no _ . He couldn’t believe he had been revealed, and not on his own terms. His throat felt thick. 

“How can you know?”

Lance started to look uneasy as well.

“I heard you and Hunk talk about it, ok?!”

Keith let out a long sigh, trying to gather himself. Of course. Hunk. The conversation in the corridor. He should had known he’d have no luck with anything in this forsaken space.

“Well, you’re coming with this at the worst time possible, jesus Lance. You have no tact? You couldn’t had waited when I told you I had no business speaking to you right now?”

Lance frowned.

“Well, excuuse me. You think this is easy for me? How was I supposed to walk around with this knowledge, and not speak up about it? What do you take me for?”

Keith gritted his teeth in frustration.

“I take you for what you are, an idiot”.

Lance opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Keith kept going.

“You’re an idiot, a tactless fool, a moron…”, he unconsciously started walking towards Lance in his slowly building anger. “You always talk too much, try to act all as though you’re that go-lucky fool you’re appearing as, but you can’t fool me, you know? I fucking get that it’s a facade”.

Lance was now pressed up against Black’s paw, but Keith didn’t even realise he was all up in the other man’s business. All of a sudden it was as though the frustration grabbed hold of him and he saw nothing but his own anger and disappointment. But Lance was still clear in his mind.

“Hah! As if you’re one to speak…”, Keith paused, still close to the other man, but hadn’t yet realised how close. “You’re acting all high and mighty, but you’re the one who got me in a pinch by acting that way, when really, you’re no different from the rest of us”. Lance also seemed to grow angry, judging by the way he grabbed Keith’s collar, pulling him closer. By now, Keith had realised the closeness and tried to pull away, but the blue paladin would have nothing of that. “I know about that too, the way you break at night and then tries to act as though nothing is wrong during the day, you’re the fool!”

Keith felt his cheeks heat up.

“Fuck you, what’s it to you”. He couldn’t believe the other man knew about that, and his embarrassment made him see red again and forget about the close distance. He too grabbed a hold of Lance’s collar, pulling him closer.

“What’s it to me? You moron, that truly messed me up, hearing you like that. For weeks, I’ve been unable to think about nothing but you. You’re the one who made things weird, asshole!”

Keith gritted his teeth.

“Me? You’re the one who…”

But he could speak no more, as Lance with a loud groan suddenly grabbed a tighter hold of his collar, pulled him closer and kissed him. Keith paused in shock for a second, feeling the touch on his lips, simply watching the man before him; the way his eyes were closed, the light from behind giving foreign shadows on his face, which were so, so close to Keith’s own, before he decided  _ fuck it _ and kissed the blue paladin back. It was a struggle, Keith fought his best to gain the upperhand, pulling the man down to him, biting his lip and sucking on the bruise. He could hear a low groan from the other man. Letting himself fall into the touch, he lifted his head for better access. His heart beat faster and faster, and he had to stop himself from groaning too loudly at the sensation.  _ Finally _ . 

“Keith”, moaned Lance against his lips, making Keith feel  _ things _ , but then they both  _ really  _ realised what was happening and it all stopped. Lance pushed Keith off of him with a hard shove, which caused Keith to stagger backwards, almost falling to his back before regaining balance. He stared at Lance, who stared back. The man’s lips looked red and plum, his face flushed. Keith touched his own lips, when it all came to him and he called out.

“What are you doing? Why did you kiss me!”

Lance put his hand over his own lips, as though to smear the touch away. He looked positively flabbergasted.

“I don’t know? Why did you kiss me back!”

That got them both quiet again, and for a while it was just their breaths that could be heard in the big room. They both just stared into each other’s eyes, when Lance seemed to snap and rushed out of the room, in his way bumping into Keith, causing the man to actually fall to the floor. He turned to the doorway just in time to see Lance bolt out of it. Keith looked down to the floor, burrowing his hands in his hair.

“What… just happened…”, he touched his lips again, bewildered over how things had played out. He couldn’t believe what the other man had done, neither his own reply to those actions. But all such thoughts had to be saved for later, as Black suddenly let out a low roar. Keith sprung to his feet, hurrying to the big lion.

“What’s going on?”, he called for her, touching her paws again. “Are you ready to talk to me now?”   
The big black lion made another low growl and opened up her mouth, inviting him inside. Keith didn’t waste any time following her wishes.

He got down in the seat, letting himself fully succumb to her desires. Now, he could feel her, she had for some reason now decided to let him in, seeing her mind. He felt the connection seep through him, allowing his mind to prod inside of hers, seeking out what he was looking for. He didn’t know what had made her change her mind, but she now led him to what he wanted to see, feel, touch. And he felt it.

He understood what the green paladin had meant by ”hope”, he now felt the feeling of recognition flow through him, with the name  _ Shiro _ on his tongue. Black made a low growl, as he sought out what she had felt during that time. The sound barrelled through her body, shaking Keith with it, but he made no notice of the motion. Regret, was all that could be found in his heart. Shiro had been so close, or something of him, but they hadn’t known, and now it was too late. He didn’t realise he was crying, until Black began soothing him, her telegenic arms hugging him, all around. He sat in the black lion for what seemed an eternity, crying together with the lion, who kept trying to soothe his grief. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> first fic for voltron... wow...  
> honestly, I can't believe the long wait for season 3... still shook... oh well. Since I didn't get any in season 2, here is a fic of my boys bonding and communicating and just bros being bros. You know.
> 
> title from Maná's Lluvia Al Corazon.
> 
> feel free to leave a comment, I have big plans for this fic. or something. lol.
> 
> love,  
> tove xx


End file.
